Motionlessly Sick

"Oh I see, I see... what I feel is not overwhelmed, suffocated or constantly anxious. What I'm feeling is in fact, motion sickness. But I'm not riding a train or taking a bus... I'm not travelling in any way. The fact that I'm not moving at all, is the problem and the cause for my motion sickness. Here's how I see it: motion sickness is a malfunction due to the inability of the brain to process conflicting signals. Example: Your eyes can see the landscape fly by while you're perfectly still. I'm also perfectly still. Sitting with my laptop on top my legs and the world comfortably at the reach of my fingertips. But my mind is racing. Flying. Performing quantum jumps from to do lists, lifelong dreams, memories, survival tasks (DON'T FORGET TO EAT), doom scroll, creative inspiration and responding to messages. Back to don't-forget-lists. Even though I'm perfectly motionless, I'm not resting. I'm not moving a muscle, but I'm anything but calm. And all of this constant back and forth... is making me sick." Words from this morning + photo from another lifetime, waiting for a train somewhere in the Netherlands.